Tuesday, August 19, 2008

My life is on hold... :(

Honestly, I think Sarah is the only person who really reads my blog. I think that's why i don't blog very much. I just tell Sarah everything over IM, so why would I make her read it all again????

Right now, I feel like my life is on hold. I have started the proceedings to get Gastric Bypass surgery. My insurance will cover the surgery, but I have to go through a 6 month medically supervised weight loss program. :( So, I'm doing that right now and waiting... and waiting and waiting! I feel like my life can't move on until after this surgery. I have had enough of being the size that I am. I want to get a much more active life. I want to be able to do more. I have spent my entire adult life on and off of diets. I never really get anywhere. This surgery really is my last chance.

I think part of what makes this waiting so much worse is that my mom's insurance doesn't require the waiting period. She only went to the informational meeting to see what I was getting into. She kept saying, "I'm not going to get the surgery." Well... she is getting the surgery. She is getting the surgery in the beginning of October. I have to wait until about January of 2009. It's so frustrating. I'm the one who wanted it and she's the one who is getting it. She's going to be thin and I'm still going to be my fat self! I am happy for her that she is going to be thin, but I just wanted to be thin too!


Sarah said...

In a way, I think all of the waiting is good because at least you know you've thought a *lot* about it and *really* want to go through with it. I'll support you either way!
Do you want me to put a link to your blog on my blogroll?

Kate said...

Think of it this way...you will be strong and able to help your mother while she goes through the hard first steps, and she'll be able to guide you through your first steps and be ready to give full support. Instead of thinking of it as she'll be skinny first, you'll have a leg up because you'll learn from her experience and be able to focus on her and she'll be able to focus on you when your time comes.

Wishing you the best